Linda looked up from her desk. Her sleepy eyes stared over towards the window. The shadows from the office lighting began to fade as daylight at last began to make its presence felt. She was alerted by the sound of the office door opening and she turned to look.
'Good Morning' said Jason in his usual brusque manner as he brushed passed Linda.
She acknowledged him obediently and watched from behind her desk as Jason carefully removed his coat and jacket, ensuring that the silk scarf she had given him for his last birthday was not about to be damaged by unintentional contact with the office furniture.
'It's certainly cold out there.' Jason commented, not expecting any contradiction from Linda. He was not to be disappointed in that respect as she responded in the affirmative.
'Now you have completed all that work I asked you to do, haven't you?' he asked her in his usual patronising way.
'Yes. It's all done'. she respectfully replied, as if she hadn't stayed up late last night, terrified of how he would have reacted if she had not finished in time.
'Good.' he said as he quickly removed the finished paperwork from her anxious grasp.
As Jason walked back to his office Linda glared at him angrily behind his back. Not one word of thanks did he give her. He didn't seem to care about how much time and effort she'd put into that job. If only she'd had the courage, she would have told him where to stick his job, right there and then. Still, what did she expect? She had known what he was like when she was offered the job as his secretary. She knew that he considered himself to be infinitely superior to any women. In his opinion, women might be higher in the evolutionary chain than the chimpanzee, but only marginally so.
Still, there was something about him that she found attractive. It might have been the fact that he was a very successful man. Maybe, he didn't run the company yet, but it was only a matter of time. Also, Linda had found the fact that Jason was more than twenty years older than her somehow reassuring, comforting. He was so confident. Where she faltered he always knew what to do. She knew that however unpleasant he could sometimes be when she had a problem he would always be there to sort it out.
Linda took some paperwork to the photocopier in the next office and then returned to her desk. As she turned the corner she saw that HE! was standing there waiting. What did he want, now!
'Linda, I want you to type this quickly!' he barked, throwing the hand-written draft unceremoniously on to the desk. Linda picked it up to look at it. There was the usual scrawl, possibly intelligible to a drunken ant, but not to a higher primate.
Before she could start to translate it into English Linda found the piece a paper being torn from her hand as Jason suddenly remembered that he had forgotten to add another important scribble. So aggressive was this act that, for a moment, neither he or Linda had a firm grip on the paper. Seizing it's opportunity, the paper escaped and fell to the floor. Irritated, Jason stooped to pick it up. Instinctively, Linda rushed around the desk and stooped forward to retrieve her master's scribblings. Inevitably, such a hasty, unthinking, response from both of them could only result in one outcome.
The crack of forehead against forehead, was reportedly heard from an office almost fifty feet away, or so it was later claimed by Ben Otway, whose office it was. However, he did have the benefit of hindsight. Nevertheless, the impact was serious enough to render both Jason and Linda temporarily unconscious.
The office went quiet, only the hum of laser printer and computer broke the silence as both Jason and Linda lay awkwardly sprawled across the floor.
The quiet was finally disturbed by the insistent purr of a telephone. Perhaps it was the sound of the phone that stirred their minds back into consciousness. Jason and Linda both began to move as they commenced their journey back to reality. But, there was something wrong.
Jason sat up and shook his head to try and clear it, then looked across at Linda. Clearly, he was still suffering from the effects of the impact. He could see himself sitting on the floor opposite him. He started to speak.
'Well don't just sit there.....' then he stopped abruptly as he heard the sound of his voice. It was Linda's. Perturbed, he looked down at himself. He was Linda! Jason staggered slowly to his feet, he was no longer Jason. To be precise he felt he was Jason, but his senses told him otherwise.
'Who are you?' Jason demanded of the man who looked like him.
'Linda' he replied, with the same obvious uncertainty about his true nature that Jason was feeling.
'But, you've got my body. Give it back?' Jason demanded of her, now able to tolerate the sound of his new voice.
'I would if I could,' she cried. 'But I don't know how to!'
The originator of the phone call that had woken them, Ben Otway, appeared in the doorway. He had seen Jason enter his office that morning, but having received no answer to his phone call, he decided to come round in person. Ben noticed the disarray of the occupants as he entered.
'Is there anything wrong, Jason?' he asked. By now Jason and Linda had managed, in spite of unfamiliar bodies, to climb to their feet. Linda saw that Ben was talking to her and responded.
'Oh nothing. I just tripped on the carpet and fell.'
Judging by Linda's untidy appearance he suspected otherwise.
Jason kept quiet as Ben asked his question since he felt embarrassed to be seen wearing a skirt and, furthermore, he didn't want Ben to hear the sound of his new voice.
'I'll come back later and talk you, Jason.' he directed this again at Linda.
'And Linda!', commanded Ben, 'Tidy yourself up, you look a mess.' He directed this last comment at Jason and then left the office.
Ben's manner, his haughty arrogance, condescension was almost too much for Jason. He was not about to be spoken to like a child. Then, he remembered that he was Linda and proceeded to sulk.
After a brief silence Jason barked at Linda.
'Well, What are you going to do?'
'What am I going to do? Probably run this office better than you do, now I'm a man.' she retorted, forgetting herself for a moment.
Jason was lost for words. He knew he still had what it took to run a successful business, but, he was now unfortunate enough to be a woman. No-one would ever take him seriously whilst he was wearing a skirt. Buoyed by the success of her boldness with Jason, Linda continued her attack on him.
'Tidy yourself up, Linda! You look like a tart'.
Jason could restrain himself no longer. He was a very important man and his secretary should show him a little more respect than that. He drew himself up to his full height and wobbling precariously on his high heels walked over to challenge Linda. Jason looked up to her, she never used to be that big. He decided she wasn't worth arguing with. Anyway, he felt a bit uncomfortable, queasy. He sat down at her desk.
'Now, look Linda.' he pleaded. You've got to help me.' he continued, finding that his voice now had a strangely pleasing tone.
'A man in my position can't be seen like this. I have my career to think of. Anyway, what about yourself. You don't want to be a man. You couldn't do my job.'
Linda was starting to become irritated. This man could be pretty obnoxious when he was a man. Being a woman was not improving his temperament. However, she was the boss now and there were only two people in the world who knew that.
'I, or should I say you, were good enough to sleep with after the office party. You must be good for something' she stated triumphantly.
'That's all in the past, just one temporary aberration. Let's say no more about it.' he quickly responded. Jason did not want the whole world knowing about him and Linda at the office party although, of course, everyone did.
Linda decided that Jason did not fully appreciate his predicament. She picked the handbag she had left beside the desk, pulled out a make-up mirror and thrust in front of Jason's face. Jason turned away, refusing to look, then his resolve weakened. He saw the pretty face he fancied.
Random thoughts flashed across Jason's fevered mind. He wouldn't be able to play golf, or even enter the clubhouse looking like this. Certainly not without being accompanied by someone who looked like a man, anyway. That was a great pity because he enjoyed the masculine camaraderie of the golf club.
Oh my God! He'd have to go to discos, and aerobics. He'd be invited to hen nights and have to watch male strippers. he'd have to wear make-up. He have to go shopping for clothes more than twice a decade.
'You've got to help me' He begged her. He would have gone down on his knees in front of her if the recent experience of walking in high heels and a tight skirt had not encouraged him against making such a rash move.
Linda was also beginning to see that there could be difficulties with this body swop. Aerobics was certainly not advisable in this ageing and debauched carcass. But, the salary would come in useful when shopping for new clothes. However there was one little difficulty that she had, so far, neglected to inform Jason of.
'Jason, are you feeling all-right? she inquired tentatively. Jason looked at her in a quizzical fashion.
'It's just that I think there's something you ought to know' she continued. Still no answer.
'You're probably feeling a little queasy'. He was. 'You see I was going to tell you soon' she admitted. Then with a rush she told him.
'You're pregnant! And you're the father'.
There was a short delay while Jason deciphered what Linda had just said. Then it dawned on him.
'The party?' he said. She nodded, relieved that he was taking it so well.
'You're joking, of course.' he said, not wanting to believe it. He could tell, though, by her expression that she wasn't.
Linda allowed herself an air of smugness as Jason wrestled with the full horror of his predicament. He had made Linda pregnant. What would his wife say when she found out? More importantly, what would be the long term effect on his golf club membership. Would Linda want him to marry her? Jason knew that there was only one thing to do.
'You'll have to get rid of it' he said. 'I'll pay, of course'. For a moment Linda was horrified at this man's callous disregard for the life of an unborn child. Then she remembered.
'Aren't you forgetting something,' she declared. 'You're the one who's pregnant, not me.'
She did have a point. Jason was deflated. He had demonstrated to himself that he, even at his age, he could still attract women. But now he was a woman, facing the consequences of his own actions as a man. He ran a hand across his stomach. He must get rid of the child. Even as this thought crossed his mind he knew that this was now no longer an easy decision. For better or for worse, it was his body he was now making decisions for.
For the first time since the accident Jason began to accept that, perhaps, he might have to stay with this body. He was now responsible for more than one life and he either accepted that responsibility or destroyed the new life within him. It was the first time for as long as he could remember that he could not arrive at a quick decision.
Linda sensed his uncertainty.
'You will keep the child, won't you?' she said. 'You were the father and now you can be its mother. How many people have the opportunity to say that?'
At that moment Jason did not consider this a great honour.
'What will you do?' Jason asked quietly, now resigned to his fate.
'I was the mother and now I can be the father. I'll have to stay with you and help you look after our child' she replied.
Linda was quiet happy, of course, to divorce Jason's wife as she had only met her about twice and hadn't liked her much, anyway. Linda certainly had no intention of sleeping with her. Jason realised he would need Linda with him if they were to keep this tragedy a secret.
'We're going to have to face this together.' Jason said.
'I know.' Linda agreed.
They embraced.
Maybe there was more in this change of life for Jason, than just a body swop. Only time would tell.
© James Tadd 1996